Philadelphia Recap

Hey Dolls! Long time, no blog once again (insert eyeball here). I literally just got back from a week in Philadelphia with my family, as those of you who follow me on Snapchat know. Though I documented everything on Snapchat I did save some of the snaps to share on the blog of my adventures (and many misadventures) I had in The City of Brotherly Love.

 

 

Though it wasn’t my first time in Philadelphia it was my first time being legal in Philadelphia so that made things a lot more fun.

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Also, if you follow my Snapchat y’all know I like to eat…

 

Let’s also not forget dessert, and our froyo dates, our four year old twin cousins                              Image-1-64Image-1-3

 

I also got to see the other half of my family. Excuse our bumness, we were about to leave for our 11 hour drive back to Savannah!

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I always love traveling and I especially love going to Philadelphia to see my family, but I always LOVE coming back home to my own space! The trip was great and I hope I have more time to travel before schools starts back up! Do you guys have any travel plans for the summer? Let me know in the comments or on Twitter!

Until Next Time!

Being Your Best “You”

Guys..let’s just say I’ve been in a slump. Creatively, mentally, emotionally…I’ve just been completely stuck in Slumpsville. Eventually though, I finally had a conversation with myself and said “Self, what are you doing girl?” …Yes those were my exact words to myself. I got to thinking about what exactly I need to do to be my best me and get back to regularly scheduled programming and so far it’s definitely worked.

Check Your Circle Ever come home from a night out with friends and just feel completely drained? Ever had a friend call you and you find yourself feeling a sense of dread so you just let the phone ring? Yeah been there. Sometimes our “friends” weigh us down with their problems and struggles and you just have to step back and have some time to yourself.

Do Something You Love Whether it’s blogging, painting, running, whatever it is, go out there and do it girl

Don’t Look Back on “Could Haves” I read something the other day and it really spoke to me. “Don’t ask God to restore a relationship that almost destroyed you”. This being said, often when we find ourselves in a slump we look back on past events, past relationships and you remember the good times but you don’t remember the reality of the situation. Don’t look back, always look forward.

Embrace Change Change can be a good thing. Often just by changing around a room, purging your wardrobe, or changing your hair color can provide a fresh outlook and motivate you to be the best you that well, you can be.

Explore Meditation It’s really that simple. Just taking a few quiet moments to yourself either in the morning or at night can do wonders. If you feel like you can’t focus to meditate (like me) try a guided meditation app. The app I use is called Calm and it even helps me sleep at night with the Sleep Stories feature in the app. I highly recommend it to all my iPhone users.

Those are my tips for being your best you. What do you guys do to get out of a slump?

Until Next Time!

Monday Motivation

Guys…I have to tell you guys, I’m in some serious need of some Monday Motivation. I figured if I write this post, I might actually get my brain moving.

Let’s start the post with how exactly I got here shall we?

So normally I’m the type of gal that loves mornings, loves Mondays…as much as any normally functioning person can I suppose. I love the feeling that a new week brings. However…this weekend my two friends and myself decided to have a little much needed girls getaway. I say much needed because these are my childhood friends and since we’re growing up, we have school, jobs, we’ve moved to new cities…when the opportunity arose for us to get together, we jumped on it.

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Yup…I’d rather be sitting on the beach, drink in hand, with these surprisingly very uncomfortable rocks than writing this paper.

 

There was a lot of greasy fast food, a lot of shopping, and a lot of liquor. This being said, a detox is necessary. Actually, thinking about the detox is kind of inspiring me as we speak to get back on track with my better eating habits.

See how that worked out? My brain is working, gears are moving, I’ve motivated myself and now hopefully I can motivate you. Try to start this week, and every week there after with setting a goal. It can be a small goal just for this week, or a small goal with other small goals following leading up to crushing a big, overall goal. Let’s get our shit together, plan out our weeks, be productive and just kill it. I’m always reminding myself that I have to work hard, to play hard. How do you guys keep it together during the week? I’d love to hear because my life can get kind of crazy and advice is always appreciated.

Until Next Time, Guys! Happy Monday!

I Love You Carrie But…Samantha Jones is Goals

Sex and the City is freaking i-con-NIC. Carrie Bradshaw was (and still is) what every woman aspires to be. Smart, amazing closet, amazing man, with an amazing fairy tale ending. I get it, Sex and the City is basically “Carrie’s Story”…but what about her friends, Miranda, Charlotte, and of course Samantha Jones who were also apart of her story while having their own stories chronicled too. Yes, Carrie is great, but Carrie Bradshaw lied.

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For one, running around New York City in stilettos…definite no go. It’s also not so easy to meet men, you’ll be perfectly fine if you spend a ridiculous amount of money on shoes instead of bills, and actually making a respectable living as a freelance writer in New York City…definitely not probable. Let’s instead step into the more so “realistic” side of Sex and the City that is the absolutely fabulous Samantha Jones.

She wasn’t afraid to be herself

One reason that we should all strive to be Samanthas and not Carries is simply due to the fact that she was completely fearless when it came to being her true self. Samantha was unapologetically honest and if it made her a “bitch”…well then so be it.

“I love you, but I love me more”

Samantha also wasn’t afraid to put herself first. When she finally found true love with Smith Jared and she found came to the realization that though she loved him, she loved herself and her freedom more. When she met Richard but Richard did her wrong and he finally said those three little words she had wanted to hear…she left us with this gem:

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“If I worried about what every bitch in New York was saying about me, I would never leave the house.”

Though I personally hate the use of the “B-Word” while being used to reference other women, I do admire Ms. Jones for this one. She doesn’t take shit from anybody especially about her sex life. In a world where girls often fall victim to the double standard and are slut shamed for it, a Samantha Jones mentality is much needed. Sex is great, and girls and guys shouldn’t be held to certain standards or whatever you’d like to call it because of how many people they’ve decided to do the do with.

Samantha helped inspire my choice to pursue a career in PR

This reason is more so a personal reason as to why I’d rather be a Samantha than a Carrie, but Sam helped spark my interest in a career in PR.

Samantha wasn’t afraid to work hard to get what she wanted. Especially when people underestimated her. She was a successful #GirlBoss that made her way in the PR industry and wasn’t afraid to get down and dirty with the big boys (figuratively and literally) when it came to getting shit done.

 

So…do you still wanna be a Carrie? No worries, this is a no judgement zone because let’s be honest, all of the SATC ladies are just great in their own way. Who’s your favorite SATC character? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

 

Until Next Time!

Girl Talk: God’s Timing…?

Before anyone says anything, yes I know “God’s timing is always perfect. He’s always on time.” Yet…waiting on God to get ready to do his things is a little well…it blows.

This past weekend I led youth group with my girls and because I was curious, I started a conversation about prayer. I asked what types of things they pray for and how they go about praying, as well as how heir friends, and they felt about prayer. I got some pretty typical answers from teenagers: good grades, and their families. Recently, thoughts of my future and future relationship have been plaguing my thoughts. I allowed the girls to ask me the same questions, to which I responded I pray for my career, understanding, and my future husband. The girls giggled when I responded and asked me why I pray for those things. My answer was this: it gets pretty damn frustrating.

“What Am I Doing??”

At the age I’m at where I’m doing everything I can and what I’m seemingly “supposed” to do e.g. pursing a degree, attending church nearly every time the doors are open, etc., it can also feel as if you’re doing nothing at all if you’re not moving and succeeding at the rate you’d expected to. What I’ve learned through this frustrating process is sometimes you literally have to take an L to bounce back. It may be a couple of L’s actually…but the point of taking them is to take the time to evaluate what you are doing and what exactly you aren’t doing. It’s so easy to get so caught up in the couple of things you’re doing right that you overlook areas that you could improve on to make yourself a better individual.

Are you taking advantage of being single?

Are you doing your best at your current job?

Don’t Ask For More, Prepare For More

If you aren’t doing those things, then why are you so eager to have more when you’re not effectively handling the hand you’ve been dealt? In the words of Ashley D., don’t ask for more prepare for more. If you don’t put any work or effort in to your situation how do you expect to handle more. if you’re not putting any work into being content alone in your singleness, have love and respect for yourself, or on issues you have…how do you expect to deal with and be there for a whole other person, which is what comes along with being in a relationship? If you’re not willing to put in the hours to do what your job description entails, then how do you expect to handle the workload and succeed in another position at a higher level? Patience is necessary, though the waiting period isn’t the ideal place for anyone to be in, it’s God’s way of preparing us for more. In regards to relationships, or really anything else for that matter, I came across a quote from Stephanie May Wilson which reads; “We’ll never know what God might have for us if we’re too busy fighting for a relationship that isn’t fighting for us right back. Sometimes the best things can happen when we unclench our fists and bravely let them go. Because only then can we receive the better “yes” God is just waiting to give us.”

Don’t Rush Through Your Waiting Period

Though you’re preparing yourself for more, you can’t allow yourself to get ahead of your season. Though it’s inevitable that you will think about the future, you have to allow yourself to leave everything in God’s hands and shift your thoughts back to reality. Face your reality head on and while you wait you cannot just wait. It’s like wanting  to plant a garden. If you want product, if you want to see the fruits of your labor, you have to work. You can’t just sit around and expect things to fall into your lap because God and the universe do not owe anyone anything.

God Will Provide

We also often ask ourselves, our peers, and God why bad things happen to us. We often work ourselves up over things that we know good and well God is going to handle and lead us to the right answer or decision about, and for what? Lack of sleep. We’ve all been there before. Personally I believe that bad things happen because God allows them to so we know that He is in control and He is capable of fixing them.

That’s it for Girl Talk for now. As always follow my social media handles and leave comments below if you feel ever so inclined.

Until Next Time!

School, Youth Group,and Faith: Weekly Round Up Vol. 1

For the most part I don’t really do rambley-ish type blog posts. However, with my Girl Talk series and now my Weekly Round Up series…there’s a first time for everything. And that’s great right? The purpose of Being Bailes is to share my life with you guys and give an inside look on life as a twenty-something navigating life in this upside down world we live in. So as I sit here, in my bed, with a half dozen Krispy Kreme donuts and caramel iced coffee rewatching Scandal from the beginning (currently having some major Olivia Pope style envy right now) I’m going to tell you guys what my week has consisted of…here we go

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School

Y’all. These basic graduation requirements are low-key the bane of my existence this semester. Right now I’m taking fifteen credit hours (five classes), and six of those hours (two classes) are basic general education requirements that everyone needs to graduate, while the rest are classes in my major. My two classes not in my major are a Spanish class and a music appreciation class. The music appreciation class isn’t so bad because my professor is great. However because of the fact that my parents put my brother and myself through private school throughout elementary school in order for us to get a firm educational foundation and then through the Charter school system…I’ve been taking Spanish since I was 4 years old. I’m darn near close to fluent. So I struggle with motivating myself to go to class because I get so bored!

It’s also midterm time so today after I manage to get my life I’m going to need to go to my car, get my binder, and get my materials together to prep for the massive amounts of studying I’m going to be doing for the next two weeks.

Youth Group

If you read my last Girl Talk post or have been following my blog for awhile, you know that I run youth group in my church, mentoring girls between 5 and 16. The group is called Blossoms, due to the fact that myself and the two other girls I work with agreed that the name was fitting because as young ladies you’re meant to blossom into the woman that God intends for you to be.

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It’s been a struggle adjusting  and learning to run a ministry for me personally, probably because despite the fact I’m 21 I feel like a child. It’s like when you’re in a situation where shit hits the fan and you look for an adult to fix it…and you realize  you are the adult. It’s a little surreal but I feel blessed to have the opportunity  to work with such amazing, beautiful, and intelligent girls who have their whole lives ahead of them and the fact that their parents and my Bishop allowed the three of us to have a part in their development. Right now I’m in the process of planning activities for them for the next three months which is something easier said than done but we’ll see how it goes.

Faith

I’ve never necessarily been completely open about my faith, at least on the blog, but to give a little background on where I stand, I’m a church girl, I come from a church family. My grandparents had me in church from birth basically, my great grandparents, grandparents, and a whole slew of uncles, aunts and cousins are in the ministry as well. This being said, it’s basically understood in my house that every Friday, Sunday, Tuesdays if we were out of school, and occasionally other days throughout the week my brother and I were expected to be in church. However, recently I’ve felt somewhat separated from my faith, and desire to work on my relationship with God. I won’t go too in depth with my faith right now though, because I do see myself doing a Q & A blog post or video just on my faith alone.

That’s all for my weekly round up. Let me know what you guys think about these kind of posts and send me questions you want to ask for this potential Q & A if you’re interested in me doing one!

Until Next Time!

Girl Talk: What The F**! Am I Doing?

Y’all. I’m just gonna put this out there: I am a relationship kind of gal. When I say this I mean, no I know I  don’t need to be in a relationship to properly function. When I say I’m the relationship type I mean that I absolutely am incapable of having a friends with benefits, casual dating…whatever type of situation. I get attached, I catch feelings, I get jealous…despite the fact that an open relationship of sorts were in fact the terms and conditions I agreed to. Whatever the case, it doesn’t work for me. Lately I have had a “man friend” for lack of a better term that I spend time with, go places with, lay up with and frankly it feels like what I want for myself relationship wise and just life in general has become lost in translation.

What’s Been Up

If you guys have followed me for awhile, you know that I mentor a group of girls in my church between 5 and 16. Recently I took the older girls aside and had a little girl talk session. We talked about boys, I let them ask me every and any question they had for me in regards to boys and relationships, and I shared my own experience with them. I agreed with them that everything we talked about would stay between us and that I would be completely, 100% honest. While we talked I explained the concept of emotional purity, because all too often in the church girls, and boys I guess, but more so girls in my experience, are always told about the importance of purity in the physical (sexual) sense but not necessarily the emotional. I felt it was important to talk about emotional purity because you can taint yourself emotionally a number of ways, not just by having sex with the wrong person or at the wrong time. Long story short, in talking with them I was forced to think about how I damaged myself emotionally, how I could have prevented it, and what exactly was I doing now to rebound from that because TBH, I still have some issues to work past.

Looking at the past is necessary however, your past does not necessarily define your future. The vast majority of my relationships with former boyfriends have been…toxic in the sense that I have given more of myself out physically, emotionally, financially…than they had ever given to me. I’ve dated guys that have been literally not shit and I’ve dated guys that were literally the sweetest but did not support me and my goals. Either way shit didn’t work out. Watching the #HurtBae video on Twitter last night, a week after talking with the girls, so many memories were bought back from my last real relationship where literally, nearly the SAME exact thing had happened to me. After all of the relationship fails I’ve had sometimes I start to panic and worry I’ll be alone forever, despite the fact that in the back of my mind I do know that everything will work out.

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See 4 Things My Ex Taught Me

In reality, right now I feel like I have everything together, while at the same time, nothing at all. When this happens, I literally have no idea what I’m doing.

Here’s What’s Coming

Now is the time that I need to really step back and deal with myself, bettering myself, exploring my opportunities professionally, and of course blogging duh. Though I’m not actively looking for a boyfriend right now, I’d like one but the way my life is set up…I see a Manless March in my future. No men, no sex…just me, school, and my blog. It’s true: you can get so much done without a penis in the way girl. I’m determined to make 2017 a bomb year for both me personally and my blog so I feel like this is so necessary for me to do and the right time for me to do it.

That’s all guys. Here’s to hoping I can successfully get through my Manless March and of course I’ll be documenting everything via the blog, Twitter and Snapchat. What are your goals for March? Tweet me, Snap me, or leave me a comment down bellow.

Until Next Time Dolls!