Girl Talk: God’s Timing…?

Before anyone says anything, yes I know “God’s timing is always perfect. He’s always on time.” Yet…waiting on God to get ready to do his things is a little well…it blows.

This past weekend I led youth group with my girls and because I was curious, I started a conversation about prayer. I asked what types of things they pray for and how they go about praying, as well as how heir friends, and they felt about prayer. I got some pretty typical answers from teenagers: good grades, and their families. Recently, thoughts of my future and future relationship have been plaguing my thoughts. I allowed the girls to ask me the same questions, to which I responded I pray for my career, understanding, and my future husband. The girls giggled when I responded and asked me why I pray for those things. My answer was this: it gets pretty damn frustrating.

“What Am I Doing??”

At the age I’m at where I’m doing everything I can and what I’m seemingly “supposed” to do e.g. pursing a degree, attending church nearly every time the doors are open, etc., it can also feel as if you’re doing nothing at all if you’re not moving and succeeding at the rate you’d expected to. What I’ve learned through this frustrating process is sometimes you literally have to take an L to bounce back. It may be a couple of L’s actually…but the point of taking them is to take the time to evaluate what you are doing and what exactly you aren’t doing. It’s so easy to get so caught up in the couple of things you’re doing right that you overlook areas that you could improve on to make yourself a better individual.

Are you taking advantage of being single?

Are you doing your best at your current job?

Don’t Ask For More, Prepare For More

If you aren’t doing those things, then why are you so eager to have more when you’re not effectively handling the hand you’ve been dealt? In the words of Ashley D., don’t ask for more prepare for more. If you don’t put any work or effort in to your situation how do you expect to handle more. if you’re not putting any work into being content alone in your singleness, have love and respect for yourself, or on issues you have…how do you expect to deal with and be there for a whole other person, which is what comes along with being in a relationship? If you’re not willing to put in the hours to do what your job description entails, then how do you expect to handle the workload and succeed in another position at a higher level? Patience is necessary, though the waiting period isn’t the ideal place for anyone to be in, it’s God’s way of preparing us for more. In regards to relationships, or really anything else for that matter, I came across a quote from Stephanie May Wilson which reads; “We’ll never know what God might have for us if we’re too busy fighting for a relationship that isn’t fighting for us right back. Sometimes the best things can happen when we unclench our fists and bravely let them go. Because only then can we receive the better “yes” God is just waiting to give us.”

Don’t Rush Through Your Waiting Period

Though you’re preparing yourself for more, you can’t allow yourself to get ahead of your season. Though it’s inevitable that you will think about the future, you have to allow yourself to leave everything in God’s hands and shift your thoughts back to reality. Face your reality head on and while you wait you cannot just wait. It’s like wanting  to plant a garden. If you want product, if you want to see the fruits of your labor, you have to work. You can’t just sit around and expect things to fall into your lap because God and the universe do not owe anyone anything.

God Will Provide

We also often ask ourselves, our peers, and God why bad things happen to us. We often work ourselves up over things that we know good and well God is going to handle and lead us to the right answer or decision about, and for what? Lack of sleep. We’ve all been there before. Personally I believe that bad things happen because God allows them to so we know that He is in control and He is capable of fixing them.

That’s it for Girl Talk for now. As always follow my social media handles and leave comments below if you feel ever so inclined.

Until Next Time!

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School, Youth Group,and Faith: Weekly Round Up Vol. 1

For the most part I don’t really do rambley-ish type blog posts. However, with my Girl Talk series and now my Weekly Round Up series…there’s a first time for everything. And that’s great right? The purpose of Being Bailes is to share my life with you guys and give an inside look on life as a twenty-something navigating life in this upside down world we live in. So as I sit here, in my bed, with a half dozen Krispy Kreme donuts and caramel iced coffee rewatching Scandal from the beginning (currently having some major Olivia Pope style envy right now) I’m going to tell you guys what my week has consisted of…here we go

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School

Y’all. These basic graduation requirements are low-key the bane of my existence this semester. Right now I’m taking fifteen credit hours (five classes), and six of those hours (two classes) are basic general education requirements that everyone needs to graduate, while the rest are classes in my major. My two classes not in my major are a Spanish class and a music appreciation class. The music appreciation class isn’t so bad because my professor is great. However because of the fact that my parents put my brother and myself through private school throughout elementary school in order for us to get a firm educational foundation and then through the Charter school system…I’ve been taking Spanish since I was 4 years old. I’m darn near close to fluent. So I struggle with motivating myself to go to class because I get so bored!

It’s also midterm time so today after I manage to get my life I’m going to need to go to my car, get my binder, and get my materials together to prep for the massive amounts of studying I’m going to be doing for the next two weeks.

Youth Group

If you read my last Girl Talk post or have been following my blog for awhile, you know that I run youth group in my church, mentoring girls between 5 and 16. The group is called Blossoms, due to the fact that myself and the two other girls I work with agreed that the name was fitting because as young ladies you’re meant to blossom into the woman that God intends for you to be.

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It’s been a struggle adjusting  and learning to run a ministry for me personally, probably because despite the fact I’m 21 I feel like a child. It’s like when you’re in a situation where shit hits the fan and you look for an adult to fix it…and you realize  you are the adult. It’s a little surreal but I feel blessed to have the opportunity  to work with such amazing, beautiful, and intelligent girls who have their whole lives ahead of them and the fact that their parents and my Bishop allowed the three of us to have a part in their development. Right now I’m in the process of planning activities for them for the next three months which is something easier said than done but we’ll see how it goes.

Faith

I’ve never necessarily been completely open about my faith, at least on the blog, but to give a little background on where I stand, I’m a church girl, I come from a church family. My grandparents had me in church from birth basically, my great grandparents, grandparents, and a whole slew of uncles, aunts and cousins are in the ministry as well. This being said, it’s basically understood in my house that every Friday, Sunday, Tuesdays if we were out of school, and occasionally other days throughout the week my brother and I were expected to be in church. However, recently I’ve felt somewhat separated from my faith, and desire to work on my relationship with God. I won’t go too in depth with my faith right now though, because I do see myself doing a Q & A blog post or video just on my faith alone.

That’s all for my weekly round up. Let me know what you guys think about these kind of posts and send me questions you want to ask for this potential Q & A if you’re interested in me doing one!

Until Next Time!

Girl Talk: What The F**! Am I Doing?

Y’all. I’m just gonna put this out there: I am a relationship kind of gal. When I say this I mean, no I know I  don’t need to be in a relationship to properly function. When I say I’m the relationship type I mean that I absolutely am incapable of having a friends with benefits, casual dating…whatever type of situation. I get attached, I catch feelings, I get jealous…despite the fact that an open relationship of sorts were in fact the terms and conditions I agreed to. Whatever the case, it doesn’t work for me. Lately I have had a “man friend” for lack of a better term that I spend time with, go places with, lay up with and frankly it feels like what I want for myself relationship wise and just life in general has become lost in translation.

What’s Been Up

If you guys have followed me for awhile, you know that I mentor a group of girls in my church between 5 and 16. Recently I took the older girls aside and had a little girl talk session. We talked about boys, I let them ask me every and any question they had for me in regards to boys and relationships, and I shared my own experience with them. I agreed with them that everything we talked about would stay between us and that I would be completely, 100% honest. While we talked I explained the concept of emotional purity, because all too often in the church girls, and boys I guess, but more so girls in my experience, are always told about the importance of purity in the physical (sexual) sense but not necessarily the emotional. I felt it was important to talk about emotional purity because you can taint yourself emotionally a number of ways, not just by having sex with the wrong person or at the wrong time. Long story short, in talking with them I was forced to think about how I damaged myself emotionally, how I could have prevented it, and what exactly was I doing now to rebound from that because TBH, I still have some issues to work past.

Looking at the past is necessary however, your past does not necessarily define your future. The vast majority of my relationships with former boyfriends have been…toxic in the sense that I have given more of myself out physically, emotionally, financially…than they had ever given to me. I’ve dated guys that have been literally not shit and I’ve dated guys that were literally the sweetest but did not support me and my goals. Either way shit didn’t work out. Watching the #HurtBae video on Twitter last night, a week after talking with the girls, so many memories were bought back from my last real relationship where literally, nearly the SAME exact thing had happened to me. After all of the relationship fails I’ve had sometimes I start to panic and worry I’ll be alone forever, despite the fact that in the back of my mind I do know that everything will work out.

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See 4 Things My Ex Taught Me

In reality, right now I feel like I have everything together, while at the same time, nothing at all. When this happens, I literally have no idea what I’m doing.

Here’s What’s Coming

Now is the time that I need to really step back and deal with myself, bettering myself, exploring my opportunities professionally, and of course blogging duh. Though I’m not actively looking for a boyfriend right now, I’d like one but the way my life is set up…I see a Manless March in my future. No men, no sex…just me, school, and my blog. It’s true: you can get so much done without a penis in the way girl. I’m determined to make 2017 a bomb year for both me personally and my blog so I feel like this is so necessary for me to do and the right time for me to do it.

That’s all guys. Here’s to hoping I can successfully get through my Manless March and of course I’ll be documenting everything via the blog, Twitter and Snapchat. What are your goals for March? Tweet me, Snap me, or leave me a comment down bellow.

Until Next Time Dolls!

20 Things I Learned at 20

Hi guys, I’m back. As I’m enjoying my Martin Luther King, Jr. Day (and day off from school…though the semester started literally 6 days ago), I realized I’m exactly a week a way from my 21st birthday. 2016 was a crazy year for me. Amongst everything that happened within the year…I exited my teens and finally made it to what I thought was true “adulthood”. I say this critically because when I was a kid, there were so many things I wanted to have done at twenty or in my twenties. Graduate from college at 21, Married with a career at 22, kids at 23. Let’s all laugh at my cluelessness. I always thought that I would really have my life together at 20. Despite what I thought, I’m going to share what I’ve learned after completing the first year of the decade known as my Selfish Twenties.

  1. College boys aren’t so different from high school boys
  2. Sometimes all you need is your best friend and some ice cream
  3. And Sleep — Lots of Sleep
  4. It’s impossible to be friends with an ex
  5. Cutting your phone off isn’t the end of the world
  6. The world owes no one
  7. Patience is a virtue
  8. College is really for finding yourself
  9. It’s okay not to have it all figured out
  10. Don’t believe the hype — no one has their shit together
  11. It’s okay to say no
  12. Sometimes, you just have to let go
  13. Comparing your success to another’s will only make you feel worse
  14. Good things come to those who hustle
  15. Trust your gut — it’s usually right
  16. Having a big heart isn’t a curse
  17. Let yourself have a good long cry every now and then
  18. It’s okay to be alone
  19. A relationship with God is so important
  20. Never compromise your morals

Some of what I’ve learned, I had to learn the hard way, I definitely was not exempt from  stress and heartache. I’m excited to see what the twenty-first chapter of my life has in store for me and even more excited to share with you guys!

Until Next Time

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2017 Goals

You guys, I’m back in action! Some of my longtime followers may have noticed I took a little bit of a break from blogging and social media for a number of reasons, mainly due to the fact that I needed to take some time for me to figure out what exactly it was I wanted in life and to reassess my priorities because, duh self care is important. 2016 has been a hell of a year for me. With 2017 finally here, I’m ready to get back to the grind, so what better way to start off the year than to document and share my goals for the year.

Financial Goals

  • STOP SPENDING JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN, BAILES!

I admit it. I have a little bit of a shopping problem. Okay, I kinda just straight up lied. I have a big shopping problem. When I feel bad, I shop. When I’m happy, I shop. When I’m bored, I shop. It’s a never ending cycle. This being said, I have to cut it out. Less spending, more saving.

  • Invest

I’ve always believed in investing whether it be in myself or my closet (more so my closet), however, I want to do more than just that. I have friends that are mission minded and have their own creative ideas. Who better to invest in than your friends? We always want to put our money towards products and services provided by people we don’t even know, so why not put our money towards people we actually do know?

Academic Goals

I want a 4.0 for the semester, or no less than a 3.5. No if, ands or buts about it. Yes things do come up, but that’s no excuse for me not to be great. I know that I can pull off a 3.0 with very little effort, but why be lazy?

Career Goals

I currently have an internship working in my city’s Chamber of Commerce in the public relations department, which mainly deals with tourism. I love the work I get to do and the people I have the opportunity to meet, but I want to kind of step out of my comfort zone and explore other areas in the PR field this year.

Personal Goals

  • Make More Time for Me

I have always been the type of person to set aside my wants, for the benefit of others. That stops now. At the end of the day I have to ask myself if I am truly happy and proud of what I’ve accomplished this year, and my life as a whole. If I want that answer to be a resounding ‘yes’, then I have to focus on myself and what my goals are and what I want.

  • Plan Ahead

When it comes to managing myself I have no problem planning ahead, just in case. However, within my church I work with my cousins Brittany and Sierra in our girls ministry, working with girls between the ages of 5 and 16. We take them on outings, have small and large group workshops and discussions, as well as work on other responsibilities we have within the church. However, Brittany went off to college in August and is now in Atlanta for the majority of the year and since then, things gave been a little hectic. I feel like I can do more, I just haven’t truly sat down to plan effectively and work out how exactly I’m going to carry out my plan. This is a major goal of mine for 2017.

Blog Goals

My goals for my blog are really very limited though it’s going to take a lot of work on my part to make it so. I’d like to:

  • Brand myself more effectively
  • Gain a larger following on my social media platforms
  • Create content with more substance than fluff

Overall I feel like my goals are achievable for this year and I hope to make everything I want possible. I’m a firm believer in the phrase, “Stay down until you come up” and that’s exactly what I plan on doing this year because I want 2018 to be my cut up season. What are your goals for 2017? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to read them!

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10 Things I Learned From Lauren Conrad

As many of us know, today is the 10th Anniversary of my favorite reality show of all time, The Hills. If you don’t know…well where the heck have you been for the past decade?! I was ten going on eleven years old when the show first aired, and Lauren Conrad was (and still is) life goals. Her style was impeccable, she was classy, she landed her dream internship in the industry she now works and is quite successful in, overall she’s the closest thing to perfection I can think of. After all, she is part of the reason I’m a Public Relations major. I know what you’re all thinking, “Lauren was a Fashion major, how do you get Public Relations out of Fashion?” Well I did in fact want to be a Fashion major at age ten but as I got older I realized that fashion wasn’t primarily where I wanted to put my focus on and I found through Lauren’s ventures that there are other aspects of the industry that are equally as important and give flexibility that working in fashion sometimes can’t give you. However, to commemorate the 10th Anniversary of one of the most iconic reality shows of all time, MTV is having an all day marathon of The Hills. However, I decided to list off ten of the many life lessons Lauren Conrad has taught me over the past ten years.

Don’t Be The Girl Who Didn’t Go To Paris

Yes, any one familiar with the show knows that Lisa Love offered Lauren the chance of a lifetime to spend a summer in PARIS of all places interning for Teen Vogue. Anyone would jump at the chance, no questions asked for crying out loud, yet Lauren elected to spend the summer with her then boyfriend, Jason (insert eye roll). Though we may not all get the chance at this same opportunity, Paris is a metaphor for any opportunity that may arise that could open new doors for us personally or professionally. Long story short don’t let anyone, let alone any guy keep you from going to your Paris. Bottom line.

It’s Okay to Outgrow Your Friends

The friends we thought we’d always have, might not work in with the plan we have for our lives and our personal journey. Don’t be afraid to grow.

“Sometimes no matter how much you like a guy, they’re no good for you”

Many of us have been there. Sometimes we are so infatuated with a guy, when in fact they are no good for us. We often pick ourselves apart trying to find what is wrong with us, and refuse to admit that they just aren’t the one. If you find yourself in this situation…run fast.

 Our Mistakes Sometimes Teach Us The Most Invaluable Lessons

Mistakes are sometimes our best teachers. No matter how bad it seems, always look for the positives and learn from it.

Love Isn’t A Maybe Thing

You’ll know when it’s the real thing. If you question it, you haven’t found it.

You Have to Believe There Are People Out There Who Really Want The Best For You 

In life, you can’t get stuck on who treats you badly, who hurts you…whatever. You have to believe that there’s better out there.

You can never make the same mistake twice

This being said, once you make a mistake, you can never make that mistake twice, because you know what will happen. After the first mistake, you chose to make the choice to repeat it.

 Forgive and Forget

Sometimes as people we often overthink situations and make them worse. Sometimes the best thing to do is to forgive yourself, forgive others, and move on.

“I’d rather have a few true friends than a lot of fake crappy ones.”

This speaks for itself. Quality over quantity.

“As soon as you stop thinking about them they’ll send you a text, because they know you stopped thinking about them. It’s like radar.”

This isn’t really a lesson, but everyone’s been there. It’s truth. Listen and believe.

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4 Things My Ex Taught Me

Let’s face it: breakups are hard. They’re especially hard when the relationship lasted a significant amount of time. One thing I’ve learned after experiencing a breakup is too look for the positives. After all, you did actually like this person at some point. After spending nearly two years together this is what I learned from my ex.

Let’s be honest: My ex? A complete jackass. He cheated, lied repeatedly, often disregarded or tried to downplay my feelings, even took his “best friend” out of town to see fricken’ Beyoncé…which led to my current aversion to listening to Bey.

So…What is it exactly that makes a breakup so damn hard?

I’m definitely no relationship expert, but I think breakups are so hard because as I mentioned earlier…you actually liked or even loved this person at some point. At some point you maybe made plans for the future, involving your careers, even possibly thoughts of marriage and kids. When that relationship ends, everything you’ve worked towards building…all of your hopes and dreams, they’re gone too.

I bet at this point you’re wondering after explaining my latest breakup, how I could possibly find anything positive to share. Well…here it is; the four things my breakup taught me.

Never Let Someone Make You Feel Inferior

No matter who it is, what they do, or what they can do no one should ever make you feel inferior. Your thoughts, opinions, and feelings are completely relevant. Don’t you dare let him call you crazy for feeling the way you feel. Everyone is entitled to have their own feelings.

Date Someone that Pushes You to Be Your Best You

Let me put this bluntly: girl, there is more to life than laying up with ya man. Your goals? Your education? What happened to those? Get you someone that encourages you to pursue those things. And if they get pissy with you about the time you must invest into those things? Well…

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Look at me…getting over my Beyoncé aversion…one GIF at a time.

It’s Okay To Be Afraid

I’m the type of person that really feared the unknown. My ex taught me that it’s normal, even healthy to be afraid. The trick is don’t let fear of the unknown keep you for living your life.

Balance Is Necessary

This one is really self explanatory. You can’t let your life revolve around one person, no matter how much you love them. After all, when they leave who’s there to keep you together? Your family? The friends you neglected? No. Just yourself.

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