Adulting 101- How to get Your S**t Together

I'm not 100% sure of as to when my parents stopped doing things for me. One day my mother was doing laundry, the next I was doing it. There was no formal discussion of the matter, it just kind of well, happened. In a way, I sort of appreciate my parents methodology (if I can even call it that). If it was an actual thought out thing they did a good job and probably realized that based off my personality as I got older I would grow tired of waiting for them to do things for me like laundry or cooking and would simply just do it myself because I would want it done when I wanted it done.

 

Learn How to Manage Your Money

And I mean really manage it. Create a budget. Open a savings account. Do whatever you have to do to make sure your needs are met with the amount of money you're bringing in a pay period. I fall victim to telling myself "Oh I'll get paid again" in order to justify random impulse purchases.

Get Organized

Let's face it, life gets pretty crazy. In the words of Ferris Bueller, "If you don't stop to look around everyone in awhile you could miss it." Often times, especially in college we get so caught up in making a living, maintaining an acceptable GPA, and having a social life. Me especially I get so focused on work, I slack on school. I get so focused on school, and forget that I have friends or cut my hours and end up strapped for cash. The best thing I could have done for myself was get a planner that I actually love and can work with and actually use it. This way I see everything I have to do, I can pick the best days I can actually get things done, within reason of course and that way I can manage my life the best I can (and get some sleep!).

Create a Morning Routine

The way your morning starts off is what sets the tone for the rest of your day. You know personally what makes you feel the most productive and like your best you so put those things into your routine. Maybe it's waking up i the morning, having coffee and watching Spongebob (guilty!). Maybe it's getting up and working out. Whatever it is do it. A good morning is the base of  a good day and a good day for me is a productive day. I have a morning routine up on the blog now from last semester but I see myself putting up an updated one soon!

Technology Clean Up

As we get older some things we did at 16 are not necessarily things we should be participating in at 22. I say this because we grew up in the social media age and a lot of things we did as teenagers are still well documented on Facebook and Instagram. Now personally what I do is save some of the less cringe-worthy pictures and videos to my laptop and just remove them from social media to make a less cluttered, more professional space.

Stay Informed 

At this stage of the game, no matter how much we hate to admit it, we are actual adults. As adults we are responsible for making decisions that impact not only us but some decisions that we make impact others around us and future generations to come. If we're not informed, then how do we make our decisions? If watching the news isn't your thing, cut on news alerts in the news app on your iPhone. That way you stay informed and don't even really realize it.

 

What do you do when you realize you need to get your life? I'd love to hear in the comments. Until next time!

Prepped for College: Fall Semester Goals

Friends, we have now almost reached July, which means it’s basically the month before most of us return back to school. I don’t know about you guys but, between working and working with the girls in my organization over the summer, I am more than ready to get back to school. I’ll probably be singing a new tune by September, but for right now I’m ready to get back in a set schedule which revolves around me planning around classes. In two weeks my girls organization will be having a four day program and the theme is Purpose. This means our focus throughout the four days will be on how we as women find our purpose, personal growth, and goal setting. This being said, I feel like it’s time for me to set a few Fall Semester goals.

  1. Do/Start on Homework The Day It’s Assigned

I’m so guilty of completing whole 7 page papers the night it’s due as most of my assignments aren’t due to be submitted by midnight. At this stage of my college career…I can’t play that. I have six classes this semester. Five classes until October. I absolutely refuse to drive myself nuts with last minute assignments.

2. Water, Water, and More Water

So far this summer I’ve done a fairly good job at drinking more than enough water and when school starts again, I want to keep it up. I also want to avoid eating out as much as possibly because between school and work I fall into the pattern of eating out and craving fast food non stop very quickly.

3. Find a Balance

All too often I will think that I am capable of doing a million and one things in one day. I over extend myself making commitments to friends, at church, work…it all gets a little crazy and a little stressful but, because I agreed to it I feel so obligated to comply and deliver but so mad at myself for over extending myself because I know I get very mean, very cranky, and very tired because of my ability to over schedule myself and not want to disappoint. This ends now.

 

That’s it for my semester goals. What are you guys looking forward to this semester? Feel free to let me know in the comments or Tweet me what you’re most excited about. Until next time, dolls!

Girl Talk: God’s Timing…?

Before anyone says anything, yes I know “God’s timing is always perfect. He’s always on time.” Yet…waiting on God to get ready to do his things is a little well…it blows.

This past weekend I led youth group with my girls and because I was curious, I started a conversation about prayer. I asked what types of things they pray for and how they go about praying, as well as how heir friends, and they felt about prayer. I got some pretty typical answers from teenagers: good grades, and their families. Recently, thoughts of my future and future relationship have been plaguing my thoughts. I allowed the girls to ask me the same questions, to which I responded I pray for my career, understanding, and my future husband. The girls giggled when I responded and asked me why I pray for those things. My answer was this: it gets pretty damn frustrating.

“What Am I Doing??”

At the age I’m at where I’m doing everything I can and what I’m seemingly “supposed” to do e.g. pursing a degree, attending church nearly every time the doors are open, etc., it can also feel as if you’re doing nothing at all if you’re not moving and succeeding at the rate you’d expected to. What I’ve learned through this frustrating process is sometimes you literally have to take an L to bounce back. It may be a couple of L’s actually…but the point of taking them is to take the time to evaluate what you are doing and what exactly you aren’t doing. It’s so easy to get so caught up in the couple of things you’re doing right that you overlook areas that you could improve on to make yourself a better individual.

Are you taking advantage of being single?

Are you doing your best at your current job?

Don’t Ask For More, Prepare For More

If you aren’t doing those things, then why are you so eager to have more when you’re not effectively handling the hand you’ve been dealt? In the words of Ashley D., don’t ask for more prepare for more. If you don’t put any work or effort in to your situation how do you expect to handle more. if you’re not putting any work into being content alone in your singleness, have love and respect for yourself, or on issues you have…how do you expect to deal with and be there for a whole other person, which is what comes along with being in a relationship? If you’re not willing to put in the hours to do what your job description entails, then how do you expect to handle the workload and succeed in another position at a higher level? Patience is necessary, though the waiting period isn’t the ideal place for anyone to be in, it’s God’s way of preparing us for more. In regards to relationships, or really anything else for that matter, I came across a quote from Stephanie May Wilson which reads; “We’ll never know what God might have for us if we’re too busy fighting for a relationship that isn’t fighting for us right back. Sometimes the best things can happen when we unclench our fists and bravely let them go. Because only then can we receive the better “yes” God is just waiting to give us.”

Don’t Rush Through Your Waiting Period

Though you’re preparing yourself for more, you can’t allow yourself to get ahead of your season. Though it’s inevitable that you will think about the future, you have to allow yourself to leave everything in God’s hands and shift your thoughts back to reality. Face your reality head on and while you wait you cannot just wait. It’s like wanting  to plant a garden. If you want product, if you want to see the fruits of your labor, you have to work. You can’t just sit around and expect things to fall into your lap because God and the universe do not owe anyone anything.

God Will Provide

We also often ask ourselves, our peers, and God why bad things happen to us. We often work ourselves up over things that we know good and well God is going to handle and lead us to the right answer or decision about, and for what? Lack of sleep. We’ve all been there before. Personally I believe that bad things happen because God allows them to so we know that He is in control and He is capable of fixing them.

That’s it for Girl Talk for now. As always follow my social media handles and leave comments below if you feel ever so inclined.

Until Next Time!

School, Youth Group,and Faith: Weekly Round Up Vol. 1

For the most part I don’t really do rambley-ish type blog posts. However, with my Girl Talk series and now my Weekly Round Up series…there’s a first time for everything. And that’s great right? The purpose of Being Bailes is to share my life with you guys and give an inside look on life as a twenty-something navigating life in this upside down world we live in. So as I sit here, in my bed, with a half dozen Krispy Kreme donuts and caramel iced coffee rewatching Scandal from the beginning (currently having some major Olivia Pope style envy right now) I’m going to tell you guys what my week has consisted of…here we go

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School

Y’all. These basic graduation requirements are low-key the bane of my existence this semester. Right now I’m taking fifteen credit hours (five classes), and six of those hours (two classes) are basic general education requirements that everyone needs to graduate, while the rest are classes in my major. My two classes not in my major are a Spanish class and a music appreciation class. The music appreciation class isn’t so bad because my professor is great. However because of the fact that my parents put my brother and myself through private school throughout elementary school in order for us to get a firm educational foundation and then through the Charter school system…I’ve been taking Spanish since I was 4 years old. I’m darn near close to fluent. So I struggle with motivating myself to go to class because I get so bored!

It’s also midterm time so today after I manage to get my life I’m going to need to go to my car, get my binder, and get my materials together to prep for the massive amounts of studying I’m going to be doing for the next two weeks.

Youth Group

If you read my last Girl Talk post or have been following my blog for awhile, you know that I run youth group in my church, mentoring girls between 5 and 16. The group is called Blossoms, due to the fact that myself and the two other girls I work with agreed that the name was fitting because as young ladies you’re meant to blossom into the woman that God intends for you to be.

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It’s been a struggle adjusting  and learning to run a ministry for me personally, probably because despite the fact I’m 21 I feel like a child. It’s like when you’re in a situation where shit hits the fan and you look for an adult to fix it…and you realize  you are the adult. It’s a little surreal but I feel blessed to have the opportunity  to work with such amazing, beautiful, and intelligent girls who have their whole lives ahead of them and the fact that their parents and my Bishop allowed the three of us to have a part in their development. Right now I’m in the process of planning activities for them for the next three months which is something easier said than done but we’ll see how it goes.

Faith

I’ve never necessarily been completely open about my faith, at least on the blog, but to give a little background on where I stand, I’m a church girl, I come from a church family. My grandparents had me in church from birth basically, my great grandparents, grandparents, and a whole slew of uncles, aunts and cousins are in the ministry as well. This being said, it’s basically understood in my house that every Friday, Sunday, Tuesdays if we were out of school, and occasionally other days throughout the week my brother and I were expected to be in church. However, recently I’ve felt somewhat separated from my faith, and desire to work on my relationship with God. I won’t go too in depth with my faith right now though, because I do see myself doing a Q & A blog post or video just on my faith alone.

That’s all for my weekly round up. Let me know what you guys think about these kind of posts and send me questions you want to ask for this potential Q & A if you’re interested in me doing one!

Until Next Time!

Girl Talk: What The F**! Am I Doing?

Y’all. I’m just gonna put this out there: I am a relationship kind of gal. When I say this I mean, no I know I  don’t need to be in a relationship to properly function. When I say I’m the relationship type I mean that I absolutely am incapable of having a friends with benefits, casual dating…whatever type of situation. I get attached, I catch feelings, I get jealous…despite the fact that an open relationship of sorts were in fact the terms and conditions I agreed to. Whatever the case, it doesn’t work for me. Lately I have had a “man friend” for lack of a better term that I spend time with, go places with, lay up with and frankly it feels like what I want for myself relationship wise and just life in general has become lost in translation.

What’s Been Up

If you guys have followed me for awhile, you know that I mentor a group of girls in my church between 5 and 16. Recently I took the older girls aside and had a little girl talk session. We talked about boys, I let them ask me every and any question they had for me in regards to boys and relationships, and I shared my own experience with them. I agreed with them that everything we talked about would stay between us and that I would be completely, 100% honest. While we talked I explained the concept of emotional purity, because all too often in the church girls, and boys I guess, but more so girls in my experience, are always told about the importance of purity in the physical (sexual) sense but not necessarily the emotional. I felt it was important to talk about emotional purity because you can taint yourself emotionally a number of ways, not just by having sex with the wrong person or at the wrong time. Long story short, in talking with them I was forced to think about how I damaged myself emotionally, how I could have prevented it, and what exactly was I doing now to rebound from that because TBH, I still have some issues to work past.

Looking at the past is necessary however, your past does not necessarily define your future. The vast majority of my relationships with former boyfriends have been…toxic in the sense that I have given more of myself out physically, emotionally, financially…than they had ever given to me. I’ve dated guys that have been literally not shit and I’ve dated guys that were literally the sweetest but did not support me and my goals. Either way shit didn’t work out. Watching the #HurtBae video on Twitter last night, a week after talking with the girls, so many memories were bought back from my last real relationship where literally, nearly the SAME exact thing had happened to me. After all of the relationship fails I’ve had sometimes I start to panic and worry I’ll be alone forever, despite the fact that in the back of my mind I do know that everything will work out.

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See 4 Things My Ex Taught Me

In reality, right now I feel like I have everything together, while at the same time, nothing at all. When this happens, I literally have no idea what I’m doing.

Here’s What’s Coming

Now is the time that I need to really step back and deal with myself, bettering myself, exploring my opportunities professionally, and of course blogging duh. Though I’m not actively looking for a boyfriend right now, I’d like one but the way my life is set up…I see a Manless March in my future. No men, no sex…just me, school, and my blog. It’s true: you can get so much done without a penis in the way girl. I’m determined to make 2017 a bomb year for both me personally and my blog so I feel like this is so necessary for me to do and the right time for me to do it.

That’s all guys. Here’s to hoping I can successfully get through my Manless March and of course I’ll be documenting everything via the blog, Twitter and Snapchat. What are your goals for March? Tweet me, Snap me, or leave me a comment down bellow.

Until Next Time Dolls!

Inspo- Vol. 1

Inspiration is everywhere. It pushes us to try new things, explore, and let’s be honest —  get our shit together. Here’s who (and what) has been inspiring me lately.

Jayla Koriyan

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Yes! Jayla is one of my all time favorite YouTubers. She’s the definition of a Girl Boss and she’s a girl that has it all. She has the brains (she’ll be graduating from college this year with not one but TWO degrees in four years), she’s got the beauty, and she’s business savvy.  She even wrote a book titled Pretty and Educated available NOW. Jayla started her YouTube career making fashion videos while she was still in high school and when she went to college, she took her subscribers along with her, expanding her channel to include weekly college blogs that are let’s face it, one of my few addictions and I look forward to watching what she’s been up to every Sunday. Jayla’s bubbly, fun, and very real personalty makes her subscribers feel like she’s their real life best friend which is one of the things that drew me to her channel when I was starting college.

Jayla’s Beauty Channel    Jayla’s Vlog Channel 

Micah Nicole

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I first found Micah on Twitter and of course, I did some lurking. I found out she too had her own blog and really drops some knowledge in her blog posts. Micah is also a PR major and the true definition of a Girl Boss. One of her most recent blog posts focuses on why personal branding is important for college girls, no matter what you want to do post-undergrad. Check out her blog if you get the chance, I swear you won’t be disappointed!

WLFE

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With Love From Emalee is a blog that I’ve recently stumbled upon. Coincidentally enough, Emalee is actually from my hometown. Even more coincidentally, we both major in Public Relations. Her values and even her reasoning as to why she chose to major in PR are so similar to mine and her blog aesthetic is literally #goals.

This has been what’s been inspiring me lately. Like I said before, everyone is in need of a little inspiration because we all get stuck in a rut every now and then. I’d love to see what’s been inspiring YOU lately. Let me know in the comments or on Twitter.

Until Next Time!

20 Things I Learned at 20

Hi guys, I’m back. As I’m enjoying my Martin Luther King, Jr. Day (and day off from school…though the semester started literally 6 days ago), I realized I’m exactly a week a way from my 21st birthday. 2016 was a crazy year for me. Amongst everything that happened within the year…I exited my teens and finally made it to what I thought was true “adulthood”. I say this critically because when I was a kid, there were so many things I wanted to have done at twenty or in my twenties. Graduate from college at 21, Married with a career at 22, kids at 23. Let’s all laugh at my cluelessness. I always thought that I would really have my life together at 20. Despite what I thought, I’m going to share what I’ve learned after completing the first year of the decade known as my Selfish Twenties.

  1. College boys aren’t so different from high school boys
  2. Sometimes all you need is your best friend and some ice cream
  3. And Sleep — Lots of Sleep
  4. It’s impossible to be friends with an ex
  5. Cutting your phone off isn’t the end of the world
  6. The world owes no one
  7. Patience is a virtue
  8. College is really for finding yourself
  9. It’s okay not to have it all figured out
  10. Don’t believe the hype — no one has their shit together
  11. It’s okay to say no
  12. Sometimes, you just have to let go
  13. Comparing your success to another’s will only make you feel worse
  14. Good things come to those who hustle
  15. Trust your gut — it’s usually right
  16. Having a big heart isn’t a curse
  17. Let yourself have a good long cry every now and then
  18. It’s okay to be alone
  19. A relationship with God is so important
  20. Never compromise your morals

Some of what I’ve learned, I had to learn the hard way, I definitely was not exempt from  stress and heartache. I’m excited to see what the twenty-first chapter of my life has in store for me and even more excited to share with you guys!

Until Next Time

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