Girl Talk: God’s Timing…?

Before anyone says anything, yes I know “God’s timing is always perfect. He’s always on time.” Yet…waiting on God to get ready to do his things is a little well…it blows.

This past weekend I led youth group with my girls and because I was curious, I started a conversation about prayer. I asked what types of things they pray for and how they go about praying, as well as how heir friends, and they felt about prayer. I got some pretty typical answers from teenagers: good grades, and their families. Recently, thoughts of my future and future relationship have been plaguing my thoughts. I allowed the girls to ask me the same questions, to which I responded I pray for my career, understanding, and my future husband. The girls giggled when I responded and asked me why I pray for those things. My answer was this: it gets pretty damn frustrating.

“What Am I Doing??”

At the age I’m at where I’m doing everything I can and what I’m seemingly “supposed” to do e.g. pursing a degree, attending church nearly every time the doors are open, etc., it can also feel as if you’re doing nothing at all if you’re not moving and succeeding at the rate you’d expected to. What I’ve learned through this frustrating process is sometimes you literally have to take an L to bounce back. It may be a couple of L’s actually…but the point of taking them is to take the time to evaluate what you are doing and what exactly you aren’t doing. It’s so easy to get so caught up in the couple of things you’re doing right that you overlook areas that you could improve on to make yourself a better individual.

Are you taking advantage of being single?

Are you doing your best at your current job?

Don’t Ask For More, Prepare For More

If you aren’t doing those things, then why are you so eager to have more when you’re not effectively handling the hand you’ve been dealt? In the words of Ashley D., don’t ask for more prepare for more. If you don’t put any work or effort in to your situation how do you expect to handle more. if you’re not putting any work into being content alone in your singleness, have love and respect for yourself, or on issues you have…how do you expect to deal with and be there for a whole other person, which is what comes along with being in a relationship? If you’re not willing to put in the hours to do what your job description entails, then how do you expect to handle the workload and succeed in another position at a higher level? Patience is necessary, though the waiting period isn’t the ideal place for anyone to be in, it’s God’s way of preparing us for more. In regards to relationships, or really anything else for that matter, I came across a quote from Stephanie May Wilson which reads; “We’ll never know what God might have for us if we’re too busy fighting for a relationship that isn’t fighting for us right back. Sometimes the best things can happen when we unclench our fists and bravely let them go. Because only then can we receive the better “yes” God is just waiting to give us.”

Don’t Rush Through Your Waiting Period

Though you’re preparing yourself for more, you can’t allow yourself to get ahead of your season. Though it’s inevitable that you will think about the future, you have to allow yourself to leave everything in God’s hands and shift your thoughts back to reality. Face your reality head on and while you wait you cannot just wait. It’s like wanting  to plant a garden. If you want product, if you want to see the fruits of your labor, you have to work. You can’t just sit around and expect things to fall into your lap because God and the universe do not owe anyone anything.

God Will Provide

We also often ask ourselves, our peers, and God why bad things happen to us. We often work ourselves up over things that we know good and well God is going to handle and lead us to the right answer or decision about, and for what? Lack of sleep. We’ve all been there before. Personally I believe that bad things happen because God allows them to so we know that He is in control and He is capable of fixing them.

That’s it for Girl Talk for now. As always follow my social media handles and leave comments below if you feel ever so inclined.

Until Next Time!

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Feel No Ways: Understanding Life In Your Selfish Twenties

“There’s more to life to sleeping in and getting high with you. I had to let go of us to show myself what I could do. That just didn’t sit right with you.” 

-Drake

As I sat here planning for future posts to go up on the blog, the lyrics to the Drake song “Feel No Ways” were stuck in my head. As I began to sing to myself, the lyrics made more and more sense. Your “Selfish Twenties”. There, it’s out there. For some of us, it’s a phase that we’d rather not talk about, and for good reason. The rest of us, embrace it. We’ve all heard varying suggestions on what we should do with this very long, exciting, sometimes difficult decade of our lives. Personally, I’ve only just entered this stage of my life, nine months ago to be exact. No, I don’t have all the answers but I’m starting to really make sense of what it is I feel so inclined to do for the next nine years left of my being twenty-something. In my opinion the term “selfish twenties” has never made more sense to me now than it ever did. Here’s why:

 

You get to meet yourself

In life, no one else is really looking out for you. You are your own advocate, your own friend, your own hero. This being said, upon entering our twenties, if we take a step back and evaluate the choices we’ve made, the friends we have, the habits we’ve formed many of us would find that these things have been influenced by other people and other people’s circumstances. That is not okay. Who are you as a person, what do you, yourself like? What do you dislike? What kind of life do you want to lead realistically versus ideally? These are all questions that need to be answered now in your twenties rather then later on down the line in your thirties or forties. Bottom line, get to know and love yourself because you’re happiness should still be around either with others or alone.

“I had to let go of us to show myself what I could do.”

Yes Drake, Yes. These words really hit very close to home, being that about two months ago I had to end a nearly two year relationship. This being said, I strongly believe in being single for some period of time in your twenties. Yes, relationships are great and mine was great. However, the key word here is was. It was great having someone to share my day to day life with on a more intimate level. It was great having regular plans. It was great just to have someone. As time progressed though, I found that keeping up with the relationship and breaking up to make up was a stress in itself in the midst of being successful academically and professionally.

See 10 Things I Learned From Lauren Conrad

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Holding on to that relationship turned into me holding on to my safety net so I wouldn’t have to be alone, though on his part there were frequent instances of cheating and general dishonesty. I don’t say all of this to bash my ex because at one point the relationship was wonderful, but to say we can’t hold on to what was and expect to grow as an individual. I say from experience that you cannot have a successful relationship unless you have the time and ability to push yourself as a person and find new capabilities you thought you didn’t have and experience things you felt you could never experience. Though it may seem like the end of a relationship or lack of a relationship at all is the end of the world, there’s more to life.

See 4 Things My Ex Taught Me

You’re Still Learning

Though your twenties are meant for finding yourself, don’t get so caught up in doing it! Yes it’s an important part of life but you’re twenty-something! Go out for drinks, buy that pair of shoes, take that flight out of the country! You have the ability to go, do, and move anywhere you want, however many times you want, with little to no strings attached. This is the time of your life where for the vast majority of us, the only responsibilities we have are to ourselves and usually mainly consist of getting an education and building a career. Who says you can’t have fun on the way to getting where you want to be?

Embrace your twenties, they say the four years you spend in high school are the best years of your life, but what about your twenties? What tips you have for enjoying your “Selfish Twenties”? I’d love to read them.

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